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A Family Interrupted

by Ellie Munn

Life was unfolding in the most perfect way.

I left a great job at Kodak to stay at home with my healthy baby son, D’Arcy (now 33). It appeared that my younger sister Roberta was also embracing a new chapter in her life. After attending university at Concordia, she was just completing her first year at the Ontario College of Art. A phone call from Montreal changed my world.

Roberta took the train to visit my brother in Montreal but something happened along the way. The police were waiting for her on the platform in Montreal.

She spent a few weeks in hospital, which I found out when my father asked if Roberta could be discharged to my care. My mother also had mental health issues and refused to let her stay in their home with four empty bedrooms. At the time, we were living in an upstairs apartment in our house. There was no communication about the nature of her illness. I was told that Roberta had an appointment with a psychiatrist at Sunnybrook Hospital which was a considerable distance from my home. Naturally, I had no idea of how to help her.

With D’Arcy in tow, we attended the appointment. Roberta emerged with a form in her hand that stated her diagnosis: paranoid schizophrenic. I asked to speak with the psychiatrist as I had no idea what this meant. He gave me some cursory answers and basically said she had to take medication and was given a follow up appointment.

Roberta was exhausted from the episode on the train and subsequently from the medication.

I vaguely remember making numerous phone calls to find about this strange diagnosis. The internet was still a long way off so it was an arduous process. A friend told me about COTA (Community Occupational Therapy Association) and when I connected with Anne Coppard, our Occupational Therapist, the clouds finally parted. She was our guardian angel. My father and I attended an eight week educational series. We learned about the illness and some coping strategies as care givers. Most of all – we were able to meet other families who were as perplexed as we were.

Roberta’s illness story has often over shadowed her identity as an artist.

I remember from one of her hospitalizations, we were at a family meeting with the psychiatrist, nurse, and social worker. The social worker said, “When Roberta is discharged from hospital, she can attend a group for schizophrenics.” Everyone was talking as if Roberta was not in the room. Roberta finally said, “When I am feeling good, I want to do my art so I would like to be in a group for artists”. It was sitting in these meetings that inspired me to make a career change and help other individuals and families, who were affected by mental illness, just as we were.

I recently retired from CAMH after a full career as a social worker.

Whenever I met with someone, it was so important to hear about his/her non-illness story that included strengths, accomplishments, talents and most of all possibilities.

For families, I would suggest that it is important to go where support is, not where it isn’t.

We would put together a special mental health team that would include people who were non-judgemental, understood their mental health issues and be there in a crisis. There may be many people who love and care about them but who may not necessarily understand mental health issues. I found this also holds true for family members. I have been very careful with whom I shared details of my sister’s illness.

I always think that the schizophrenia gene could have landed on me or my other siblings. I am grateful every day for my blessings, but my sister Roberta is my hero. She has never given up.

Here is an excerpt from an email she sent me, when she was having a better day:

“There is a void that has to be filled.
What I put in the void will be important in the coming years of my life.
I hope it will flourish into healthy thoughts and deeds. Interacting with people I meet positively, instead of this perpetual negative, pessimistic mood I deal with everyday. Maybe it will go away along with the illness.

Work and action are major parts of getting well again and going onward, forward with my life, not falling into the pits and holes of the illness of nothingness. Be full and fruitful in dealings with people and yourself. Be honest and this will lead to whole, not half, feelings…”

No matter what she’s gone through, Roberta has never given up.

I think that’s one thing that I’ve learned over the years as a professional and I’ve worked in the prisons…there is no such thing as a hopeless case. There is not.

I hang on to that with great conviction. Recovery is possible.

The stigmas, we’re trying to deal with that through campaigns and different things like people talking about our experiences like this – giving hope to others.

And I think that’s what you need to tap into.

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