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My Family’s Story
When I was a child of ten, my mother started suffering from an intense and extreme case of manic depression, that included extreme periods of suffering, psychotic breaks, multiple failed attempts at treatment, many hospital stays, and the tragic loss of a much needed mother in a young family of four kids. This period of mental illness for my mother, as I recall it, lasted about 8 years.
My personal recollection of these 8 years for me, were cycles of terrible emptiness, confusion, fear, anger, cynicism and occasional light – but mostly, a debilitating time for all of us in my family. I saw things no ten year old should see, or ANY person for that matter, but it was part of the journey. It was what it was. The end of happiness.
Unfortunately, NO counselling or support was given to any of the four children in our family, and a burdened father did his best to support his wife, pay the bills and keep going under incredibly hard circumstances – but no open conversation, sharing, debriefing or connection helped us heal as individuals or as a family caught in a traumatic life experience. We were told to essentially hang on, keep going and wait for relief.
All four children in my family have struggled in life to some degree. We have each chosen different ways to protect and buffer ourselves from that traumatic experience and each of us carry it forward in some way, in my opinion. We did the best we could to limit the suffering as best we could, but there were better alternatives, if we could have reached out for support and let out our feelings and fears and learned we were not alone.
It is now almost thirty years later, and we STILL need to unwind the effects of those years. We still struggle with how we unconsciously decided to cope with the world, and the long-term effects on our lives that has brought.
It does not have to be this way for you or your family.
Family members can proactively address the stress and difficulty of a family mental health crisis and address it by working through it, with guidance.
The family, collectively and individually, will find it helpful to take the time, focus and effort to learn, communicate, reach out for support and respect a healing process equally with their concern for their stricken loved one. This disease does not just affect a person – it affects families and relationships.
Suffering in silence and isolation seems stoic and safe in the short term, but it does not heal. There is no need to retreat to keep yourself safely away from the situation and others, even though the fear, stress, guilt and stigma might make that seem like the safest option. Many families have made a journey back and have learned so much about a healthy way to face it, address it, disarm the challenges and support themselves back to balance.
Please consider our family’s story – thirty years of suffering x 4 lives. And that is just the accumulated cost to our 4 siblings. That does NOT include the person with the mental health condition or her husband’s suffering! It is time to choose another way.
Please click on our resources; listen to family members as they share their journeys, check out resource links – and consider how YOUR Family is coping and communicating – how YOU FEEL under similar circumstances.
Thousands of us share your perspective and we can provide our experiences, our insights and learning to help YOU & your family.
Let’s STOP the CLOCK of suffering and begin again. I hope the Family Guide to Mental Health Recovery will be one brick on a new bridge back to family balance, health and happiness with mental health as part of the journey back – not just a word associated with a descent into suffering.
Thank you for reading. I hope this site provides with the stories you need to find the courage, curiosity and interest to help yourselves and your whole family.